The Funniest Quotes About Being an Adult
The Funniest Quotes About Being an Adult
“Adulting is like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how.”
“I miss being a kid, but then I remember I have money and can eat ice cream for dinner.”
“I finally got my life together, just kidding, it fell apart again.”
“Being an adult is just saying, ‘But after this week things will slow down a bit’ over and over until you die.”
“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.”
“I can’t adult today, tomorrow doesn’t look good either.”
“I’m an adult, but not like a real adult.”
“I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.”
“Being an adult is just walking around wondering what you’re forgetting.”
“I’m not sure if I’m adulting correctly, but I’m here, I’m alive, and I have coffee.”
“I’m not anti-social, I’m just not user-friendly.”
“I’m so adult, I can’t even.”
“I’m not old, I’m just more experienced.”
“I’d rather be sleeping.”
“Adulting: when you get excited about a $20 coupon for groceries.”
“I have a great memory, it’s just short.”
“I’m not fat, I’m just easier to see.”
“I’m not short, I’m fun-sized.”
“I’m not weird, I’m limited edition.”
“I’m outdoorsy… in that I like getting drunk on patios.”
“I’m waiting for my knight in shining armor. But until he arrives, a boy in tin foil will do.”
“I’ve learned so much from my mistakes… I’m thinking of making a few more.”
“If I won the award for laziness, I’d send somebody to pick it up for me.”
“If you’re waiting for me to care, I hope you brought something to eat, ’cause it’s gonna be a really long time.”
“It’s not a hangover, it’s wine flu.”
“Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.”
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money.”
“There’s no ‘we’ in food.”
“I’m not sure if I have free time or if I forgot to do something.”
“I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy for the future.”
“I’m not lost, I’m exploring alternative routes.”
“I’m not messy, I’m creatively organized.”
“I’m not pessimistic, I’m just an experienced optimist.”
“I’m not unlucky, I’m just overqualified for chaos.”
“I’m not stressed, I’m just intensively relaxed.”
“I’m not tired, I’m just socially jet-lagged.”
“I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition classic.”
“I’m too old for this… but too young to care.”
“Adulting is 50% wondering if it’s too late for coffee and 50% wondering if it’s too early for wine.”
“I can’t adult today, my unicorn needs me.” “I can’t adult until I’ve had my coffee and my morning existential crisis.”
“I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee.”
“I don’t need therapy, I just need a vacation… on a remote island… with unlimited cocktails.”
“I don’t trust people who dislike coffee, dogs, or chocolate. What’s wrong with you?”
“I would exercise, but it makes me spill my wine.”
