25 Hilarious Funny Quotes for Moms Who Deserve a Medal
25 Hilarious Funny Quotes for Moms Who Deserve a Medal
1. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then, I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller
2. “My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett
3. “Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.” – Sam Levenson
4. “When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” – Erma Bombeck
5. “Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.” – Ed Asner
6. “A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.” – Peter De Vries
7. “I love being a mom. I love every part of it. It’s the best job in the world.” – Reese Witherspoon
8. “My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, ‘Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.'” – Paula Poundstone
9. “Mothers are all slightly insane.” – J.D. Salinger
10. “As a mom, you have to make sure that everyone is taken care of and loved. You just become more aware of the world in a different way.” – Beyoncé
11. “Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease.” – Lisa Alther
12. “I used to have functioning brain cells, but I traded them in for children.” – Anonymous
13. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.” – Princess Diana
14. “Sleeping like a baby is great… unless you’re the mom who’s up all night with the actual baby.” – Unknown
15. “Motherhood: the ultimate crash course in time management, patience, and pretending to know all the answers.” – Unknown
16. “Life doesn’t come with a manual, it comes with a mother.” – Unknown
17. “I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.” – Erma Bombeck
18. “A mother’s love is unconditional… until her kids leave their toys on the floor for the millionth time.” – Unknown
19. “A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.” – Tenneva Jordan
20. “I don’t need an alarm clock. My kids wake me up at the crack of dawn every morning.” – Unknown
21. “Parenting is 50% making snacks and 50% convincing your kids they’re not hungry 10 minutes after they said they were starving.” – Unknown
22. “I used to wonder why mothers always had eyes in the back of their heads. Then I had kids, and now I’m just grateful for any eyes that stay open past 9 PM.” – Unknown
23. “Being a mom means never being able to do anything alone, including going to the bathroom.” – Unknown
24. “If you want to know what unconditional love feels like, just have a kid and wait for them to throw up on you.” – Unknown
25. “Motherhood: when going to the bathroom alone feels like a luxury vacation.” – Unknown
