Quotes

Sarcastic Comebacks for When You’re Feeling Sassy

Feeling sassy and need the perfect comeback? This video is packed with witty and sarcastic quotes from around the world that are sure to shut down any conversation. From literary giants to historical figures, we’ve got you covered with the best zingers to leave them speechless.

Video Sarcastic Comebacks for When You’re Feeling Sassy

Sarcastic Comebacks for When You’re Feeling Sassy

1. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln

2. “I’ve never been hurt by what I haven’t said.” – Calvin Coolidge

3. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” – Alan Dundes

4. “He’s got all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill

5. “If I had a dollar for every smart thing you said, I’d be poor.” – Unknown

6. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were an expert on my life. Please continue while I take notes.” – Unknown

7. “I’m not always sarcastic, but when I am, it’s hilarious.” – Unknown

8. “I’m sorry, was I supposed to be offended? The only thing offending me is your face.” – Unknown

9. “If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.” – Marilyn Monroe

10. “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals; I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – A. Whitney Brown

11. “Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.” – Unknown

12. “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams

13. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb

14. “The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.” – George Bernard Shaw

15. “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” – Fred Allen

16. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson

17. “When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.” – Will Rogers1

18. “I’m not afraid of heights, just afraid of falling.” – Unknown

19. “I’m not always rude, but when I am, it’s because you deserve it.” – Unknown

20. “I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.” – Unknown

21. I’m not offended by blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb. And I also know that I’m not blonde.” – Dolly Parton

22. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin

23. “Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.” – Mark Twain

24. “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” – Benjamin Franklin

25. “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” – Oscar Wilde

Did any of these sassy comebacks resonate with you? Let us know in the comments below which one was your favorite and don’t forget to subscribe for more quote-worthy content!

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