Best Phyllis Diller Quotes
Best Phyllis Diller Quotes
“I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.”
“I once asked a woman how she juggled a career and family. She replied, ‘With a lot of caffeine and denial.'”
“Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.”
“I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is Captain Courageous and I get to be Jane Fonda.”
“My husband said he wanted to be more affectionate. So, now he hugs the refrigerator.”
“My cooking is so bad, my cat thinks Thanksgiving is a day of mourning.”
“I’m not saying my house is dirty, but we should probably enter it in a hazmat suit.”
“My mother-in-law and I were happy for 20 years—then we met each other.”
“I told my husband he’s lucky to have me. He agreed, saying, ‘Yes, dear, I truly won the bad wife lottery.'”
“My recipe for a great marriage is simple – just be as absent-minded as your spouse.”
“I asked my husband if he ever fantasizes about me. He said, ‘Well, sometimes I pretend you’re someone who can cook.'”
“I told my husband, ‘I’m not cleaning the house.’ He said, ‘Great! I was getting tired of living in filth.'”
“My husband and I have different ideas about the meaning of ‘whirlwind romance.’ For him, it’s fast and exciting. For me, it’s a lot of hot air.”
“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
“I once asked my husband, ‘Why don’t you call out my name in your sleep?’ He said, ‘Because I don’t want to wake you up.'”
“I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.”
“I once wore a blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.”
“I’m the world’s worst mother. Six boys and one of them was a girl.”
“I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb. I also know that I’m not blonde.”
“My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.”
“The best way to get rid of kitchen odors is to eat out.”
Watch video Phyllis Diller Quotes
Who was Phyllis Diller ?
Apart from her successful stand-up career, Phyllis Diller appeared in numerous films and television shows. She was a trailblazer in a male-dominated industry and left a lasting impact on comedy. Diller’s influence extended beyond her time, and she is remembered as one of the pioneers who helped break gender barriers in comedy.
