The Funniest Quotes About Hope to Kickstart Your Day
“I’m an optimist. But I’m an optimist who carries a raincoat.” – Harold Wilson
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” – Joe Girard
“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” – Maryon Pearson
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
“The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” – Margaret Mead
“I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.” – Steven Wright
“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Anonymous
“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.” – Tommy Cooper
“I’m in shape. Round is a shape… isn’t it?” – Anonymous
“I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.” – Anonymous
“I’m on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” – Anonymous
“I’m not sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.” – Anonymous
“I may be old, but I got to see all the cool bands.” – Anonymous
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Anonymous
“I’m not shy, I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.” – Anonymous
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” – Anonymous
“I’m not sure if I lost my mind or if it was mine to begin with.” – Anonymous
“I’m not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.” – Anonymous