15 The Funniest Quotes About the Highs and Lows of Raising Kids
1. “If evolution works, how come mothers only have two hands?” -Milton Berle
2. “Having one child makes you a parent. Having two kids makes you a referee.” -David Frost
3. “Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.” – Phyllis Diller
4. “Becoming a mom to me means that you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.” – Nia Vardalos
5. “Went to Disneyland because my daughter’s obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.” -Ryan Reynolds
6. “Once you sign on to be a mother, 24/7 is the only shift they offer.” ― Jodi Picoult
7. “You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” – Franklin P Adams
8. “I love being a grandparent. You get all the fun without any of the responsibility.” – Gene Perret
9. “The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere—and let the air out of their tires.” – Dorothy Parker
10. “You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” – Franklin P. Jones
11. “You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up.” – Unknown
12. “Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.” – Ed Asner
13. “Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.” – Red Buttons
14. “Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them.” – Bill Ayers
15. “By loving them for more than their abilities we show our children that they are much more than the sum of their accomplishments.” – Eileen Kennedy-Moore
