25 Hilarious Funny Quotes for the Dad Who Has Everything
1. “My daughter got me a ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug. So we know she’s sarcastic.” —Bob Odenkirk
2. “Even though I’m proud my dad invented the rearview mirror, we’re not as close as we appear.” —Stewart Francis
3. “Me and my dad used to play tag. He’d drive.” —Rodney Dangerfield
4. “Sometimes I am amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch yet struggle to assemble the most basic of Ikea cabinets.” —John Kinnear
5. “I’ve been to war. I’ve raised twins. If I had a choice, I’d rather go to war.” —George W. Bush
6. “My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.” —Spike Milligan
7. “I’m so proud of my dad; I was his first air guitar.” – Anonymous
8. “Dad: A son’s first hero, a daughter’s first love, and a person who is puzzled when he’s asked to find something that’s right in front of him.” – Unknown
9. “I have a joke about dads, but it’s a parent joke.” – Anonymous
10. “Behind every great dad is a kid who’s rolling their eyes.” – Unknown
11. “My father taught me how to do fake sneezes. It’s a skill I use to this day.” – Jim Gaffigan
12. “My dad always said, ‘Work until your idols become your rivals.’ Well, now I’m unemployed and idolizing my dad.” – Unknown
13. “Fatherhood is great because you can tell other people’s children what to do and then give them back.” – Ricky Gervais
14. “Behind every dad joke is a fully satisfied dad waiting for his children to stop groaning and laugh.” – Unknown
15. “My 4-year-old son gave me a handmade card for Father’s Day. Maybe for Christmas I’ll draw him a picture of some toys.” — Jim Gaffigan
16. “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” — Mark Twain
17. “My father only hit me once. But he used a Volvo.” – Bob Monkhouse
18. “I asked my dad for a remote-controlled car, and he gave me a stick. Well played, Dad.” – Unknown
19. “You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.” – Jerry Seinfeld
20. “My dad used to say ‘always fight fire with fire,’ which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.” – Harry Hill
21. “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
22. “My dad taught me the importance of a well-balanced diet. That means a burger in each hand.” – Unknown
23. “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” – Rodney Dangerfield
24. “My dad’s favorite thing to say at dinner: ‘This is the best meal I’ve had all day!'” – Unknown
25. “My dad’s idea of a balanced diet is a beer in each hand.” – Unknown
