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Put-Down One-Liners About Men – By Women, of Course! Guaranteed to Make You Laugh

Need a laugh? Here’s a collection of witty and funny one-liners about men, as seen from a woman’s perspective! These jokes are clean, clever, and guaranteed to make you smile. Subscribe for more laughs!

Video Put-Down One-Liners About Men – By Women, of Course! Guaranteed to Make You Laugh

Put-Down One-Liners About Men – By Women, of Course! Guaranteed to Make You Laugh

  1. How are husbands like lawn mowers?
  • They’re hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don’t work.
  1. How do men define a “50/50” relationship?
  • We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
  1. How do men exercise on the beach?
  • By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
  1. How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
  • Make him wear shoes.
  1. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
  • Rename the mail folder “Instruction Manuals.”
  1. How does a man show he’s planning for the future?
  • He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
  1. How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
  • All he’s concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.
  1. How many men does it take to open a beer?
  • None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
  1. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  • One. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
  1. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  • Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
  1. How many men does it take to tile a bathroom?
  • Two. If you slice them very thinly.
  1. What did God say after creating man?
  • I can do so much better.
  1. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
  • Any place without a drive-up window.
  1. What do you call a handcuffed man?
  • Trustworthy.
  1. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
  • You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.

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